The Trials, Tribulations and Eventual Thrill of Adopting a New Kitty

After Nini passed away in June, I knew I wanted to adopt another cat right away. Although I was enjoying not having to change the cat litter, clean up Nini's bad aim from around the cat litter, and having to clean the kitchen counters every minute (I only use eco-friendly cleaners, which I can only hope did/do the job), I love cats, and missed Nini. As you've already gathered if you've read my blog, or if you've noticed that I donate 5% of my sales to Muttville, I hold a special place in my heart for less-adoptable animals. I wanted to adopt an old-timer, or better yet, a pair. It breaks my heart to know that cats who have bonded over the years are often split up by shelters wanting to find homes for as many as needy animals as possible, which is why I wanted to rescue at least one pair. I searched for siblings, and found one shelter that had several, and older ones, as well. When I called the shelter, however, both the adoption counselor and I had concerns that these cats may not have had any experience with dogs, and it might be very stressful for them to be put in a home with two dogs. I thought of testing the waters nevertheless, but couldn't see myself bringing these kitties home, only to have to surrender them back to the shelter if the adjustment period didn't pan out.

One day I happened to be in Wags 'n Whiskers, one of my favorite stores that carries Opie & Dixie products. Erica, the store owner, has daily adoptions at her store. There were kittens, kittens, everywhere! I did not-not-NOT want a kitten. All of a sudden I glanced aside, and there was a non-kitten! She was small, and appeared to have some Siamese and Snowshoe in her. Man, she was beautiful. She was strutting around the store like she owned it, with dogs roaming in and out. She was fearless, and just adorable. I asked how long she'd been there, and she'd been there the longest of all. I couldn't imagine why, but the answer was that everyone wants kittens, and this little girl was about 2 years old. Go figure. I picked her up, and she rubbed her face against mine and purred like crazy. I drove home, and while concerned that by adopting her I would not be fulfilling my promise to adopt a "less adoptable" cat, something told me that she was to be The One. I KNEW she'd be fine with Opal and Dixie . I drove back to the store, picked her up, brought her home, opened her carrier, and... yep, I was right. Out she marched, confidently and fearlessly. The dogs came up to sniff her, and she pushed right past them defiantly: "Hey, outta my way, I have places to explore!"

It took me no time at all to learn that Miss Kitty, who we named Mia, had "issues." The biggest issue? Peeing NEXT TO, but not IN the litterbox. Pooped in the box, peed next to it. Of all the cats in the world, I had to pick another with a peeing issue. Nini reincarnated. God help me. Issue number two: biting. Yes, a very, very bite-y kitty. I'd be lying down on the couch very comfortably, deeply engrossed in The Wire, when? *POUNCE! CHOMP!* She'd scare the hell out of me, affix herself to my leg and take a bite out of my foot. Issue number three: Midnight Madness. I'd be sound asleep, when all of a sudden a stampede of feet would dart over my face. Then, the meowing. And I don't mean, "mew-ing." I mean, "MEOW-ing." At 3 in the morning. Hey, do whatever you want with me, but don't ever, EVER mess with my sleep. There were other problems too, but these were the main ones. Well, I yanked out all my behavior books, googled solutions and did all the things I thought I was instructed to do, but nothing worked. I had no choice but to call in the experts. I found Feline Minds online, and Mikal came to the rescue. She spent a couple of hours assessing the monster-kitty-from-hell situation, and a day or so later she sent over a full report with solutions. Get this: THRILL OF A LIFETIME! THEY WORKED! Miss Kitten now pees in the cat litter. No more making meals of my arms and legs. No more feet in my face in the middle of the night. Amazing! Even though her name is Mia, who calls their pets their real names? Mia is KEEEEEEETTEN. And you can't just speak it. You need to SCREECH it. "KEEEEETTEN! KEEEEETTEN!" All three girls are crazy about each other. They play like maniacs and then pass out and sleep together. Hallelujah. Peace in the kingdom.

Quick tips for the training of kooky kats:

1. Cat Attract - When they can't seem to use the litterbox, this litter is magical. It's natural, and apparently has an herb-y, grassy scent (that I can't smell) that "attracts" them. It works like a charm.

2. Biting -- when you're tired of being turned into a meal, go limp. Do not nose tap the kitty's nose. Do not yell, "AAAAAAAAAAA!" Do not kick them so they go flying off you. Just... ignore. Grit your teeth, let your eyes well up from the pain, and... ignore. If it gets REALLY bad, just nonchalantly stand up and walk away. Kitty will learn that all the biting leads to no more play. Not only no reaction (which is what kitty is after), but The End.

3. Nighttime stampedes and chattiness - Play with kitty before you go to bed until he or she is ready to drop dead. You can tell when they start getting worn out because the toy becomes less and less exciting, you'll detect a bit of panting, and suddenly.. *plop*! Dead to the world.